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Books by Simon Haynes

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Humour

A Portion of Dragon and Chips

by

(9 reviews)

Imagine being trapped... in a primitive land of dragons and bloodthirsty kingdoms... ... as a robot! Clunk's lost his memories. He doesn't know who he is or where he came from. And there's nowhere to get a recharge. But... See More

£1.99 £2.07 Price verified 14 hours ago
Teen & Young Adult

Second Course: (Book 2 in the Hal Spacejock series)

by

(12 reviews)

"Anyone who has ever had a frustrating run-in with a computer, or had to suffer bureaucratic thuggery, or who just wants a great story that will keep you smiling, this book is for you." - /dev/random Hal Spacejock's cargo... See More

£2.38 £2.41 Price verified 8 hours ago
Science Fiction

Alpha Minor (Harriet Walsh Book 2)

by

(2 reviews)

The Peace Force has a new recruit, and she's driving everyone crazy. From disobeying orders to handling unauthorised cases, nothing is off-limits. Worse, Harriet Walsh is forced to team up with the newbie, because the... See More

£3.49 Price verified 4 hours ago
Science Fiction

Sierra Bravo (Harriet Walsh Book 3)

by

(2 reviews)

Planet Dismolle is supposed to be a peaceful haven. So what's with all the gunfire? A criminal gang has moved into Chirless, Dismolle's second major city. Elderly residents are fed up with the loud music, noisy cars and... See More

£3.49 Price verified 48 minutes ago
British & Irish

A Butt of Heads (Robot vs Dragons Book 2)

by

(3 reviews)

Events are unfolding at a breakneck pace in the Old Kingdom! Laugh as your favourite characters spit in the face of danger... then run for the hills. Admire the verbal jousting and witty wordplay... or is it the other way... See More

£3.49 £3.80 Save 8% Price verified one day ago
Horror

Sleight of Hand: A short story

by

(1 review)

After a cosy meal, the protagonist retires to his host's workshop for an after-dinner drink... and becomes the unwitting subject of an experiment. 2000-word short story. Winner of the 2001 Aurealis Award for Horror... See More

FREE £0.99 Save 100% Price verified 25 minutes ago
Science Fiction

Catch of the Day: A short story

by

(3 reviews)

Ken and Steve reluctantly give up their lawnmowing duties for a weekend of fishing, booze and male bonding. Unfortunately the fish aren't biting, supplies are running low and worst of all... the beer just ran out. Then... See More

£0.99 Price verified 11 hours ago
British & Irish

Safe Art: (Book 6 in the Hal Spacejock series)

by

(7 reviews)

A wealthy patron is sponsoring a series of art exhibitions, and Hal Spacejock has been employed to transport the valuable pieces from one venue to the next. The only question is which of them will last longest... Hal or the... See More

£3.49 £3.56 Price verified 6 hours ago
British & Irish

Just Desserts: (Book 3 in the Hal Spacejock series)

by

(10 reviews)

Full of sarcasm, wit, paybacks and humorous dialog. A fun-filled read for all ages! Hal Spacejock has a problem. His cargo hold is packed with expensive food, and the freezer equipment he bought from Bent Jimmy's bargain... See More

£3.49 £3.67 Price verified 13 hours ago
Humour & Satire

The Desolator: A short story

by

(1 review)

A barbarian, a halfling and a cleric walk into a bar... Join Hurm, Runt and Father Mephistophiles as they struggle to save the hamlet of Yendour from a marauding dragon. High fantasy parody from the author of the Hal... See More

£0.99 Price verified 19 hours ago
Short Stories

Framed: A Hal Spacejock short story

by

(2 reviews)

A straightforward cargo delivery takes a left turn when Hal Spacejock gets sidetracked. But with 200 shares in a worthless company on offer, who wouldn't step into a makeshift teleporter which has already claimed one... See More

£0.99 Price verified one day ago
Short Stories

Visit: A Hal Spacejock short story

by

(4 reviews)

Hal and Clunk are stuck in port, forced to wait two whole days for their next cargo. Hal returns to the ship after a little shopping expedition and finds Clunk in a right old state. Break out the crayons and colouring... See More

£0.99 Price verified one hour ago
Science Fiction

Loss Leader: A short story

by

(5 reviews)

Synopsis: After delays and last-minute setbacks, the first colony ship leaves planet Earth for a distant star. Join the crew as they discover all is not as it seems... A 9000 word short story originally published in... See More

£0.99 Price verified one day ago
British & Irish

Big Bang: (Book 7 in the Hal Spacejock series)

by

(9 reviews)

A house clearance job sounds like easy money, but rising floodwaters, an unstable landscape and a surprise find are going to make life very difficult for Hal and Clunk. Set in the distant future, where humanity spans the... See More

£3.49 Price verified 12 hours ago
World Literature

A Piece of the Action: A short story

by

Flat broke and stranded in a South American country, Ralph Gardiner is nursing a beer and contemplating the wreckage of his life. No money, no prospects, and worst of all... the beer is warm. When a local businessman... See More

£0.99 Price verified one day ago
Horror

Updown: A short story

by

(1 review)

You don't know me, I'm Daniel and me an' mom live in a updown south of Titan City. You've seen vids of carnival rides. There's one what's a big pole with a flying saucer thing going up and down, up and down and spinning... See More

£0.99 Price verified one day ago
Short Stories

Thonn!: A short story

by

In Thonn's world, Magick has been banned by politicians: corrupt, power-hungry, twisted, evil... and the Magick wasn't much of a boon either. So imagine Thonn's surprise when he spies Eddie de Elder attempting Magick spells... See More

£0.99 Price verified one day ago
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