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If anyone tried to stop her after the first concussion she would have protested with her life. Horses, riding, and competing were the young addiction of a seven-year-old. Had someone said falling off her pony again and again and again at such a young age or at any age would lead to a spiraling world of illness and puzzling misdiagnosis leaving her trapped in her own mind, disconnected and isolated from contact, and dangerously seeking relatedness, she would have scrappily fought. But that's not how it happened. No one stopped her.
Three consecutive concussions at age seven were ignored by a medical community not yet aware of the long-term consequences of head injuries in children. In the years that followed, plagued by memory deficits, depression, anxiety, headaches, vertigo, the most debilitating sequelae was a profound disconnection from other people. Entombed in a fog of confusion she scrambled to cover symptoms, to function, and to act "normal" at all costs. Not knowing any other way she didn't have the words or context for what was wrong and she forged blindly ahead.
Over time, terrified by her own mind and body, spiraling into a mental health crisis, she could no longer hide. Lost in the wrong diagnosis, wrong treatment, and destined to succumb to mental illness she met a dog also who was resigning to his abandonment. Together they dug in and out of deep-rooted trenches to find one another, stumble into doctors who put the puzzle together, and finally understand the true diagnosis of post-concussive syndrome and its ramifications.
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